if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I CAN MOONWALK!
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Randomize
