Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
