How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
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