tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Randomize
