You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
i believe in u and ur pee
Randomize
