I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Randomize
