Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
She announced her abortion via fbk
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
