I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
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