once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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