Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Randomize
