I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
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