and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
