Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Randomize
