Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
and eventually we just all took our pants off
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
