your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Your cock deserves a montage
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Randomize
