you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
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