watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
