That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Randomize
