YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
I CAN MOONWALK!
I skipped work to stalk him.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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