I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Terrible idea I love it
Randomize