apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
Randomize
