Heybabeimwearingurpanties
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
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