is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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