I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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