This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
Too much gin, very little bucket
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Randomize
