We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Randomize
