found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Randomize
