They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Randomize
