shes about as inviting as chlamydia
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
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