He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Randomize
