i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Randomize
