I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
