Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
