we have officially mastered the walk of shame
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
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