Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
you win again, gameday.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
