Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
