i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
