brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
