So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize
