So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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