oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Randomize
