In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
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