If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
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