i barfeds in our rink
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
