what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Randomize
