it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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