just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
