i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
