you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
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