my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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