I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
