The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
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