she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize
