when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
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