We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Randomize
