I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Randomize