i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
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