they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
Randomize
