We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
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